Mental Health in Relationships: Experts tell us how to support your partner when they are struggling

Relationships are tough and require a lot of work and efforts. But with growing fast-paced lifestyles, we often end up ignoring or overlooking those around us, our partners. And with this, we also end up overseeing signs of them struggling. Sometimes when someone “seems fine” doesn’t mean they are “fine.”

When it comes to mental health and wellness, not everyone has same signs or issues. Most of the times, signs of someone struggling are so subtle or well-hidden that it is easy for us to oversee them. Mental health is crucial not just for your wellbeing, but also if you wish to have a healthy relationship.

There are many couples out there who don’t know how to navigate through mental health issues while being in a relationship. Addressing mental health, though maybe more open now than ever, is still a tough topic for many to talk about openly. What’s more troubling is that unlike physical health issues, many mental health issues do not have any definite symptoms or order.

Signs related to mental health issues are so subtle that it is easy for you to not even recognize that any problem exists. But even if subtle, signs are there. In a relationship, you are the one who knows your partner the best, who observes them every day, who knows about their life and lifestyle. So while they might “seem fine” or “act fine” there are still some signs you can watch out for to know that your partner is struggling.

So we reached out to some Mental Health and Wellness Experts to talk to them about mental wellness in relationships – signs to know your partner is struggle and how you can support them.

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How to know your partner is struggling with their Mental Health?

In a situation, where your partner hasn’t been open with you regarding their mental health issues. It can be a rather tough situation. But you need to be aware of these signs. Mind Coach & NLP Expert, Richa Jati Giri, says, “Recognising the signs that your partner may be silently struggling with their mental health can help prevent conflicts and foster a supportive environment.”

Here are some signs suggested by our Experts you should watch out for:

#1. Frequent mood swings and anxious reactions

Sudden or erratic mood swings even without any definite triggers that are developing over a period of time can be a sign of your partner struggling. Richa, says, “Frequent irritability, anger, or frustration over small issues can be a clear indicator that your partner is struggling to cope with their emotions. These overreactions suggest that they may be dealing with underlying anxiety or stress, making it difficult for them to manage their feeling effectively.”

#2. Withdrawal from socializing

Psychologist and Relationship Therapist, Dr. Bhavna Barmi, says, “Look for changes in their behavior, such as withdrawal from social activities, and a noticeable lack of energy or interest in things they once enjoyed.”

Have noticed that your partner from time to time spends time apart from others, isolates themselves and refuses to go out for social gatherings? This can be a sign as well of them struggling with their mental health, particularly depression.

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#3. Changes in communication patterns

Dr. Bhavna also suggests to pay close attention to your partner’s communication patterns and changes in it. “If they seem distant or less engaged, it might be a sign they’re dealing with something internally.”

#4. Changes in Sleep Patterns

Richa Jati Gira tells us, “Significant changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia, excessive sleeping, or restless sleep, often point to mental health issues. When your partner is consumed by negative thoughts, they may struggle to control their mind, leading to overthinking and disrupted sleep.” It is important if you notice any changes in their sleep or even eating pattern and preferences, it may be a sign for something much deeper.

That’s why we said, when it comes to mental health issues most of the signs are so subtle that only a partner can observe or notice them.

How can you support each other?

“Supporting each other during times of mental health struggles involves patience, understanding, and active listening,” says Dr. Bhavna. Approaching someone who is going through a mental health issue requires a lot of care and support, and emotional maturity from your end. Here’s are some ways to support your partner during this time.

#1. Creating a Safe Space

Life and Empowerment Coach, Nehaa Goyal says, “Having a discussion about their well-being is important, but first, create a safe space where they feel they won’t be judged or burdened with worries about the future. It’s crucial to support your partner without judgment when they might be struggling.

It’s also important for us to understand that no matter how much of a safe space we create for them, sometimes they still may not have the language to express what they are going through. In such times, it’s okay to create space for their feelings non-verbally by offering a hug, sitting quietly with them, or simply being present without the need for words.”

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#2. Do not rush them

Richa shares a very crucial point as she says, “Instead of making them silent by bombarding with logic, acknowledge their pain. Don’t be in a hurry to correct them rather accept them with their strength and weakness. Once they start trusting you, you can guide them for better solution.” So instead of rushing your partner to communicate and open up, be patient and present for them and let them communicate with you at their own pace.

#3. Don’t ignore yourself

We’ve often heard that – self-care is not selfish. This is absolutely true. At times, it might get a bit overwhelming while you deal with your partner’s struggles. To be a positive support system, ensure that you also take care of yourself while taking care of your partner.

Also, stepping away to gather your thoughts when you feel defensive or angry, is another way to take care of your own mental wellbeing. If you feel that perhaps you are not in the right mood to address something with your partner, take a step back. Come back, hear them out and come up with an amicable solution after a while.

#4. Work on your bond together

This is a time you need to make sure your bond doesn’t suffer, and you might have to make extra efforts to work on your relationship. Practicing self-care together, such as engaging in relaxing activities, exercising, or meditating, can also strengthen your bond and promote mutual well-being,” says Dr. Bhavna Barmi.

#5. Encourage them to seek help

Remember, that you can’t fix everything. Try to understand and educate yourself about mental health and how you can help your partner deal with it. Dr. Bhavna says, “Encourage them to seek professional help if needed, and offer to accompany them to appointments if they feel comfortable with that.” A professional Mental Health Expert can help you and your partner better in dealing through these tough moments and offering guidance.

As Dr. Bhavna says, “Remember, it’s essential to communicate openly about each other’s needs and boundaries, ensuring that both partners feel supported and understood.” This is true when it comes to dealing with mental health issues and relationships. You need to put in some work every day to make your relationship stronger, happier and healthier.

Also Read: 7 Expert Rules to remember when dealing with marital conflicts

Also Read: Are we ready for the “Friendship Marriage” trend to become a new relationship norm?

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