Every time a relationship ends, it is almost as if a fog lifts up to reveal the aspects and signs that were always present, subtly hinting that it was never going to last. But it is never just one or two isolated incidents that make a relationship toxic. As Anu Rajgarhia, a psychologist at Mpower, in an interview said, “It is only when the same unhelpful behavior happens repeatedly that it is considered cause for concern.”
Us women are too smart to not notice the slight pause we take when our partner does something toxic. We just need a nudge to accept that it exists, and then do something about it. Here is a list of 7 red flags in a relationship that you should never ignore so you can gauge if you are in a healthy relationship or not.
1. They want to rush into the relationship, even if you are not there yet
Contrary to popular belief, ‘love at first sight’ does not actually translate to saying it that quickly. A person who wants to fly through the milestones before you are ready for it too, might be one of the red flags in a relationship. This could be a tactic used by narcissists to gain control and have the access to manipulate you, by making you feel obligated to them since they are doing so much.
2. They pushback on your boundaries, even if it is just a little
We set our boundaries to make ourselves feel comfortable and safe in a situation, and there is no valid reason that your partner should ignore them or try to convince you otherwise. And it can be as small as texting you when you have asked for space. Instead of thinking why they may get a pass this time, wondering what might be the reason they did it in the first place may help bring some clarity.
3. They give a lackluster response to your wins
If your partner never seems genuinely happy when you achieve a goal, or when something good happens to you, it is one of the biggest red flags in a relationship. It might mean that they are either jealous, or competitive with you, seeing your success as a threat to them. A healthy relationship, on the other hand, is full of support for each others’ achievements.
4. They get really jealous and really controlling, really fast
Constantly ‘checking up’ on you to know where you are and who you are with, or restricting your interactions with other people shows that your partner might not trust you. It might not be the person’s fault at all if they have experienced infidelity in a toxic relationship before, but it is still something that they can heal only on their own.
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5. They never seem to include you in their life, or try to become a part of yours
One of the ways a person shows that they are in it for the long-run is by introducing you to their friends and family. Or, asking you to participate in the activities they enjoy. Similarly, they also want to become a part of yours, wanting to get acquainted with the other important people in your life, or trying out a hobby that you love. A lack of this is one of the more obvious red flags in a relationship.
6. They trauma dump on you but don’t make you feel heard
Sharing your feelings is a big part of a healthy relationship, granted that it is a mutual give and take. A partner who only tends to vent everything out to you, but never extends the same opportunity for you to do so, is basically looking for an outlet instead of a romantic connection. This behaviour is a sign of a toxic relationship where you end up carrying all of the emotional burden.
7. They never change anything, even if they have apologized before
This is one of the factors that separates a toxic relationship from a healthy one. An apology that is not followed up with a change or absence of that behavior is a manipulation tactic. It is used by a person to get out of trouble in the moment. When they are conscious about not repeating the actions, it shows that they genuinely care about how you feel.
We hope you found none of the traits mentioned here in your beau. But in case you did, communicating it with them and working on it together can go a long way. And if that is not an option, remember that the cost of your peace of mind never was and never will be worth accepting any red flags in a relationship. And well, there are always better, more handsome and funnier fishes in the sea.
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