You might have heard people say, “Just repeat these positive statements, and you’ll start to see changes in your life!” Positive affirmations are popular tools for improving mental well-being and achieving personal goals. But do positive affirmations really work? To answer that question, let’s explore their connection with your nervous system and why positivity might sometimes feel unsafe.
The Power of Positive Affirmations
Positive affirmations are simple, positive statements that you repeat to yourself. The idea is that by consistently saying affirmations like “I am confident” or “I am successful,” you can change your mindset and improve your self-belief. But for these affirmations to be effective, they need to be believable and align with your feelings.
The Nervous System Connection
Your nervous system plays a crucial role in how you respond to positive affirmations. It’s responsible for regulating your body’s reactions to stress and relaxation. When you say something positive, your nervous system can either support or resist these statements based on your past experiences and current emotional state.
- Safe and Supported: When positive affirmations resonate with you, they can help your nervous system feel more relaxed and secure. This alignment can boost your confidence and make it easier for you to achieve your goals.
- Resistance and Stress: If your nervous system doesn’t fully support the affirmation, it might trigger stress. For example, if you say, “I am successful,” but deep down, you feel like a failure, your body might react with anxiety or discomfort.
When Positivity Feels Unsafe
Sometimes, positivity can feel unsafe, especially if it conflicts with your deep-seated beliefs which stem from past experiences. Here’s a scenario as an example:
Imagine you’ve had a difficult childhood where expressing your feelings was discouraged. As an adult, you try using positive affirmations like “I am happy and successful.” However, if these affirmations clash with your childhood experiences of feeling invalidated or unsupported, your nervous system might react negatively. Instead of feeling uplifted, you might feel anxious or disconnected because the affirmation triggers underlying fears or unresolved emotions. You may further feel like a failure as the affirmation brings no shift in you.
Why This Happens
- Emotional Disconnect: If positive affirmations don’t match your true feelings or past experiences, they can feel inauthentic. Your nervous system may sense this mismatch and respond with discomfort. The Nervous system has only one job and that is to protect its human (It does not know right or wrong, it only knows your comfort which it is taught through history and experience)
- Deep-Seated Beliefs: Long-held negative beliefs or unresolved emotional wounds can resist change. When affirmations challenge these beliefs, your nervous system may react defensively.
Aligning Affirmations with Feelings
To make positive affirmations more effective and less likely to trigger discomfort, try these tips:
Find an easy to feel positive Feeling, by tapping into your Nervous System Experience:
Identify a feeling that is easiest for you to connect with, such as the joy you get from eating your favorite dish cooked by your mom. Tap into that joy and use it as a foundation for your affirmations. For example, frame your affirmation like this: “Even though I currently feel anxious, I choose to explore the joy of eating my favorite dish and feel that joy about my upcoming promotion.”
Trick Your Nervous System:
Sometimes, framing affirmations in a more definitive way can be more effective. Instead of saying “I am successful,” try something like “I will succeed; there is no other scenario.” Or, instead of “I am getting promoted,” you might say, “Yes, you are getting promoted; there is no choice.” Here are a few more examples:
- Instead of “I am confident,” try “I will be confident; it’s inevitable.”
- Instead of “I am healthy,” say “I am becoming healthier every day; it’s a fact.”
- Instead of “I am financially secure,” use “Financial security is already mine; there’s no other option.”
Accept the Limitations:
Rather than rejecting your current feelings or limitations, embrace them in your affirmations. Begin with an acknowledgment of how you feel, and then affirm your self-love and acceptance.
For example: “Even though I currently feel overwhelmed, I choose to wholly and completely love and accept myself.” This approach validates your present experience while reinforcing a positive, loving mindset.
Remember, what you reject can often hold more power over you. It’s similar to when I ask you not to think of a lemon—the first thing that comes to mind is likely a lemon. By accepting and acknowledging your feelings, you diffuse their power and create space for positive change. By aligning your affirmations with positive, genuine feelings and using assertive language, you can help your nervous system embrace the changes you want to make. This approach makes affirmations feel more authentic and less likely to trigger resistance, paving the way for positive growth and transformation.
Also Read: Are we ready for the “Friendship Marriage” trend to become a new relationship norm?
Also Read: Changing or restarting career after 30s- Stories of real women who made it happen
Meet our Guest Expert blogger: Nehaa Goyal is a trauma-informed Empowerment Coach specializing in Family System Therapy, who use EFT, somatic release, NLP, and inner child healing to address intergenerational trauma, alongside the unique resolution approach of Family System Therapy